Consternation of a poisoned apple.

Pros: I LOVE YOU, You are a gentleman. You can be brilliant. You will be a great chef. You can give me multiple orgasms at times <smirk>. I can wear your clothes. We both love garage sales. I want to be seen with you, I like holding your hand<even in public> you clean, you cook, you call me your motivation, you treat me like a queen and make me feel beautiful.

 

Cons: You smoke. You smoke. You rarely call, and even more rarely come over. It was better when you were half way across the country than it is with you three hours away. My friend says it’s my expectation of being able to touch/ see you more that isn’t being lived up to.  I drink… you drink, but not with eachother or in the same scene. Our music differences are miniscule but they are there. Our movie tastes are different… Sometimes things just need to be thrown away and you’re a bigger packrat than I am. You like to spend when you can and sometimes when you can’t. I can be that way too, but mostly I don’t like buying anything but books and some odd and very cheap trinkets and that’s when I have money burning a hole thru my pockets. Besides being packrat garage sale junkies we have nothing else on common ground. The weak crying girl in me that I don’t want to have comes out with you sometimes. You can be so moody too, and you won’t let me in. I think our age and maturity levels are a con simply because we want different wants out of life.

I’m content to be a hermit, you like friends. Your focus is on building a career, mine is more of being a homebody and being settled. Lately our silences have been heavy, instead of the carefree no need to talk because even the silence says “I love you” with each breath, silences. The worry of money when it comes to gas, and food, and the necessities are always on your mind, even when it pertains to visiting me. And what am I gonna do? I work every day except Sunday, have my mom drive me up? Stay a couple hours and have her drive me back down just to see you? You had been bald for how long before i got even a pic of it?

 you broke up with me…..

 

I endured you staring at me that whole day and the day after, then near the end of that day you say you don’t want “us” to end. Of course i take you back. Mom now thinks you came simply to break up with me and that you are cheating on me. I can’t tell if you are or aren’t but i trust and have faith that you would tell me if you found someone that you would then let me go. And so I stand by “us”. Our 1 yr anniversary is coming up…

How much longer will we stay together? Will you rethink breaking up? Will I? Are we doomed? Did i cause it?