Corrupt and corroded….
ME: Hey, how do I download movies off the net?
HIM: um… Idk I’ve never done it.
ME: yes u have. Isn’t that how you got your best porn?
That’s how the convo started; He then tried to teach me how to download a program with much trial and error on my part. While the program downloaded I asked how he was. It wasn’t good. It never is with him. That man has always had a cloud over him someone, himself included, always deathly sick. Somewhere in the boredom of teaching such a nooblet how to download programs and open them he shows me a pic of some tidbit of lingerie his girlfriends sister bought. He thought he looked good in it. “Always the panty twister” I thought to myself and then typed it. His reply to that was how he had jacked off at work in his office into a sink conveniently located within said office and about the triumph that he wore a different thong to work every day of the last week. I was having troubles downloading the program and then later the file I was supposed to try. File choice: His favorite… he couldn’t pick any one movie… I told him even if it was a porn movie I would try to look for it and hone my lack of skills…”I don’t have favorites tho I do have a shemale fetish.”…just what I wanted to hear, right? Not! Another thing I remember about him if he wasn’t having sex he was masturbating and he enjoyed being watched. Near the end of our convo he does ask me to watch. Of course I make up excuses… all valid because like an omen both my brother in law and then my mom get up and walk around the house. He says how he’s been working his cock so it won’t take but 2 seconds. I finally say ok. Its not like I haven’t seen it or him doing that before… but I warn him I’m closing it in two seconds.. I accept and I spy his penis shooting (he has always been a shooter) the effects of his jack off. I close the webcam and tell him that was quite the money shot… to which he states that some of it shot over the comp and later he checked. Sure enough it had landed on the wall behind his computer.. He, the curiosity I keep in touch with, does not make me horny. Watching him jerk his penis around doesn’t either but now I’m looking at hentai titles and missing my man who is hours away. He asks what I’m doing. I tell him I wish my bf was there so I could fuck him silly… and that I figure I’ll read some literotica, then go to sleep. I haven’t been much of a masterbator myself but I was ready to, thinking of the nights Josh and I would lie awake and tell eachother stories from that site. Giving up on the stupid movie downloads I wished my old friend goodnight. And turn off the computer. No stories tonight, just sleep. The dreamless sleep of darkness. For if I dreamt, it was in black or a color close to it. Nothing more.
I feel slightly guilty now that it’s all written down. I got no pleasure besides the kind u get watching as a fun past time. Something I’ve watched before, countless times. Just not while i was in a relationship. I will not ever see this man again, and if I did I wouldn’t lay him… not anymore. As much a tease as I tend to be (sometimes I think I’m downright whorish) I am a one man woman, not to mention he himself has a girlfriend. He is a milestone tho, the first in my sex life, not a long lived one, but an important one. And I can gladly say I have only three. My current being the third. I miss him so much I ache or wake up at night only to want him there beside me, on top of me…or under me. I think i screwed it up with him by telling him about this crap. But he could mark it akin to a porno, 2 seconds worth of porn starring an ex. I’m sorry.
